So it’s been a little over two months since I became a mom to multiples, and it’s been an adjustment for everyone in our family. But these last few weeks, a bit of the fog has lifted and we are falling into a bit of a rhythm. And since this is my second maternity leave , it’s already proving to be quite different than my first. The largest changes are as follows:
TWO BABIES - Duh! Ena is still attending daycare part time (god bless daycare), but half of the week I’m at home with two babes. Daycare has been wonderful as it has allowed for me to recover from my surgery and focus on the newborn (has anyone else realized exactly how easy newborns are compared to toddlers only after having your second baby?). But the days with 2 babes are long as we wake up early. And a toddler has a TON of energy , which we need to burn off somehow. And recently we’ve had our first freezing cold snowfall so what’s a mom to do? Paw Patrol that’s what. Sure we colour, so some puzzles , eat lunch and breakfast and snacks, have dance parties, play with toys but I can’t spend the entire day entertaining my oldest anymore because baby needs to nurse and have her diaper changed. So we watch Paw Patrol and I feel extremely guilty whenever it’s on. But I know that I can’t be the only mom letting their babes watch tv, but it’s still a struggle to let go of this worry. So unti it’s nicer outside, I guess we’ll be watching what Chase, Marshall and the gang are up to. Also - Chickaletta is the worst.
Enjoying More - My first maternity leave was basically a year full of trying to find activities that would fill up my day until my husband came home. I went to alllllllll of the mommy groups , library classes and mommy dates. I was constantly on edge waiting for the day to pass so I could get some help and only near the end of my mat leave did I learn to let go and enjoy. I think a lot of it is due to my expectations of myself were too high as a first time mom - mixed with sheer terror that I was responsible for a real life human. I truly believe that the stress that this generation of moms is currently under is ridiculous as social media overwhelms is with information, often contradictory, telling us that everything we’re doing is wrong. This time around, I’m a veteran (haha). I trust myself more, I follow my instincts much more. I know that if my kid drinks from the bottle a little longer than yours or rolls over sooner than yours, they’ll both grow up to be relatively weird adults so enjoy all of the phases.
I Have A Helper This Time Around - I have someone who helps me with diaper changes, throwing away dirty diapers or getting me clean ones. Someone who helps put baby sis to sleep, or attempts to put in a pacifier in her mouth when she’s crying. Someone who 50% of the time listens to me when I say “clean up your toys” (hey it’s better than 0%). Someone who kisses and loves on her little sister at every point of the day. And someone who cherishes moments with mom. It makes this mat leave a million times sweeter.
Tandem Naps - Like the sweetest thing in the entire world. And after I’m done taking photos of them and melting, I’m able to have a cup of coffee to myself as it’s usually the only “me” time I have in a day.
I’m Better At Focusing On Me - this means finding time to eat breakfast during the day (most of the time), or taking 5 minutes to breathe. It means reaching out to friends to chat when the days are especially hard (and considering mine are both still babies, there are definitely some hard days). It means calling my mom for reaffirmation , or telling my husband i need help. It means leaving the dishes or the mess in the bonus room and letting go of the thought that the house needs to be neat all of the time (ok - I admit I really struggle with this one). And it means taking alone time on the weekends to work out, or have a bath or meet up with a girlfriend.
Overall, like everything in life, it’s a work in progress. But life only hands you what you can handle right ? So though the days might be long from time to time, life is much too short. I’m glad I’ve learned this lesson earlier in my life, so this allows me to be easier on myself and enjoy in the small moments .
Moms of multiples - how was your adjustment to two or more babies?